All you need to know about Take That

Take That After The Departure of Robbie

Take That was a Christian boy band originating from Slough, England in 1919. After a string of hit records and performances at the local orphanarium, they split 75 years later in 1996. Members include Songwriter and anarchist Gary Barlow, DIY man Mark Owen, Crufts Best In Show Howard Donald, Clockwork Orange, and a fifth guy that everyone ignored, Gary's ex-lover Robbie Williams.

The string of Jesus-driven hits included "It Only Takes A Minute To Bless Our Saviour" and the "Could It Be Magic? God Hath Fury!" in which they taught the benefits of burning witches through the power of song. Their biggest hit, "Back For God", documented their search for Buddha which ultimately ended in failure, providing further proof that Christianity is the one and only true religion. Every member of Take That was gay, including the fifth one.

After their world tour in 1960 with the Beatles, they inflicted with drug abuse and alcohol addiction. They soon became known as the Rolling Stones. In later years, they came out with the hit Sympathy for the Devil, which pissed off the Christians of England and Elton John, a proud gay Christian. In 1979, while the band was sleeping, a gang named Heaven's Devils bombarded their one room trailer. They were startled and took out machetes and weapons only known to the military. The battle last about Seven Years in the jungle. Only the Stones won and came out alive. Blood was shed.

Take That recently (November 2005) reunited on a TV show broadcast on ITV without the fifth one. It was very exciting. Nothing has been heard or seen of the fifth one since the great split of 1996.

Take That is well known for it's old aged members.

Discography

Take That Cross and Party!, 1919

1. I Found Heaven
2. Once You Tasted Bum
3. It Only Takes A Minute To Bless Our Saviour
4. A Million Lord's Prayers
5. Satisfied? BURN HER.
6. I Can Make You Buy This Album *Cocks Gun*
7. Do What You Like (Except Don't Idolise, Murder, Lie, Steal, Commit Adultery, Put Anyone Before God, Don't Misuse The Name Of God, Don't Disrespect Your Parents, Don't Work On A Sunday and Don't Envy)
8. Promises? LIES. Damn you to HELL.
9. Why Did I Wake Up With You? (You Scheming, Crabs Spreading, Smelly Old Witchcrafting Prozzie..Piss Off)
10. Never Want To See THAT Again
11. Give Good Feeling? I thought I Told You Prozzies To Piss Off
12. Could It Be Magic? God Hath Fury!
13. Waiting Around The Street Corners
14. How Can It Be That Prozzies Still Follow Me?
15. Guess Who Tasted Bum

Everything Changes Except God, 1922

1. Everything Changes Except God
2. Pray For God
3. Wasting Our Time (We Just Realised We Can't Sing..)
4. Relight That Fire, I've Found a Witch
5. Witchcraft Ain't Here Anymore
6. If This Album Is Good (Then This Ain't Good For Me)
7. Whatever You Do To Me (God Will Avenge To You)
8. Meaning Of God
9. Why Did I Wake Up With You? (You Gave Me Crabs)
10. You Are The Only One (To Buy This Album)
11. Another Crack In Your Halo
12. Oink Oink
13. No, Si Aqui No Hay Amor (No, Scientology Is Not Real)
14. The Party Remix (If Someone Plays This At A Party They Are A L-O-S-E-R)
15. All I Want Is You (And God)
16. Babe [Return Mix] Although We Know You Wouldn't Want To Return To This Shit..

Nobody Else Will Buy This Crap, 1976

1. Sure (The Deodrant That Works In Sync With Your Lifestyle)
2. Back for God
3. Every Guy (Will Burn In Hell)
4. In The Beginning, On Sunday To Saturday, God Created The Earth
5. Nobody Else Will Buy This Crap
6. Never Forget About Our Lord
7. Hanging on to Your Magic Penis
8. Holding Back My Magic Penis
9. Hate It (Because You're A Scientologist)
10. Lady Tonight (You'll Be Burned At The Stake)
11. The Day After Judgement Day
12. Sure, The Deodrant That Works In Sync With Your Lifestyle (Again...)
13. Back For God (Again...The Beatles Taught Us Repetion Is Holy)
14. Every Guy, Will Burn In Hell (Sorry About This...We Were 3 Short..)

Greatest Hits, 1996

1. Never Forget That Time I Suckled Your Lollipop
2. Back For God (REEEMIX...) Reeewind, When The Crowd Say Bo! Selectaa...
3. How Deep Is Your Whoopsie?
4. Pray For Bum
5. Relight That Fire! SHE'S A WITCH!
6. Everything Changes But God
7. Oink Oink
8. Sure (Rightguard Is Buy One Get One Free At Tesco Though..)
9. It Only Takes a Minute To Bless Out Saviour
10. A Million Shag Bites Later...
11. Could It Be Magic? God Hath Fury!
12. Why Did I Wake Up With You AGAIN?? 3rd Time!! Wh-What? This session is free?!
13. Love Ain't Here Anymore (Doctor Who Stole It)
14. I Found Prozzies (On Scotch Street Corner)
15. Promises...Shove Them Up Your Cock-A-Doodle-Doo
16. Once You've Tasted Cum
17. Pray LIVE (Oh Great, It Sounds Even Worse..)
18. Relight That Fire! She's A Witch! (REMIX) Listen To Another Way To Execute Someone...

beautifuuuuuuuuuul werld, 2006

1. Reach Out And See The Light
2. Be Patient Please
3. Beautifuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul Werld
4. Hold On (To Your Campness)
5. Like pinkly planky Loved You At All
6. Moonshine
7. I'd Wait For Life (and all good things)
8. Ain't No Sense In This Album
9. What You Believe In (Is WRONG...Unless it's God...)
10. Mancunian Way Is Falling Down, Falling Down, Falling Down, Mancunian Way Is Falling Down, My Fair Lady
11. Wooden Boats Sink In Hell
12. Butterfly, Flyy, Flyy away, from Lucifer...
13. (I wanna) Rule the world and GET RICH!!!!!!!

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